We love living by our own rules and standards. We have embraced the ‘it’s my life’ thinking so much that a lot of stuff has become blurred along the way especially when it comes to love. We have defined and redefined dating and marriage and everything else in between. Most of what we know about love and marriage has come from the world instead of the Word. There are all sorts of rules I almost never manage to keep up with…who should call who, who should make the first move, decide this and that, who should and shouldn’t do what, the list is endless.
Before I share some notes I took in church a few Sundays ago on let me say this, men that are struggling with relationships (read commitment) need to see expectations from a different perspective. Women expect a man to love and honor them, but more than that…God expects it. When you see it as God’s expectation as opposed to a woman’s expectations it might change your outlook. It’s not just about pleasing a woman with your looks, income, intellect or whatever else. It’s about obeying the One who brought marriage into existence. At a minimum, a husband should:
- Be the HEAD of his wife. Now ladies, before we throw a tantrum notice v.23 of Ephesians 5. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…” It is very important for a man to know this. Tension comes into a relationship when a man does not know his place, purpose and mandate within the relationship. When a man is unsure of himself there are chances of a power struggle taking place. It’s not necessary though because God has already made him the head of her. This does not mean he should oppress her or not consult her because you are equal partners. It means he should have a vision for the marriage and family and work with her to see that vision come to pass.
- LOVE his wife. Verse 25 of the same passage says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Women crave love. That’s a fact I cannot overemphasize. The man has a duty to love her. Verse 28 goes on to say that husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, and that he who loves his wife loves himself.
- HONOR his wife. This is a big one. Check out the seriousness in 1 Peter 3:7. “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” (NLT) Imagine something that would impact your prayers being heard…all the more reason to honor her in your actions, thoughts, speech, and interactions both in her presence and absence. To honor means to show esteem, to respect and highly regard. She is precious to you (and to God) so don’t disrespect her in any way.
- PROVIDE for his wife and family. The man ought to provide. That has never been in dispute. “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8).
It may seem alot I know. But I also know that what God expects of us, he will give us the strength and grace to do. When a man makes a decision that he wants to be a godly husband, God is faithful to carry him through.
May he turn our hearts to him, to walk in obedience to him and keep the commands, decrees and laws he gave our ancestors. 1 Kings 8:58
- Marriage = Hard Work; So Roll Up Your Sleeves. (relationshipsdomatter.com)